Simplee gets a Bentley for christmas....

Allow me to Introduce my son... Bentley... Man's best friend!

Festivites Family and Faggotry... Ugh!

In the aftermath of another Thanksgiving holiday, a brotha feels the need to release... When you mix the combination of family and festivities, there's always bound to be some mess... in this case, the mess wasn't present during the celebrating but rather an internal combustion within me. Let me explain...

For those of us that are "in the life" you may be able to relate, and anyone else reading this blog, I hope you can at least empathize. As each holiday season rolls around, my family always has one centralized location where we all come together and do our thing... all the "stuff" that has transpired between us during the previous months seems to evaporate and we all wear this great mask of jovial elation... we smile, grin and pretend... oh well it works, and if ain't broke, don't fix it, right???

However, as each year passes and the tradition continues, situations are changing. I'm getting older, more settled, a little more stubborn and a bit more restless with the fact that I'm not out to my family... (why does it matter? you may ask.. the answer is I don't know, but it does and that may be a separate counseling session... oh the hell well..)

As I make my entrance into my fathers house, I'm gradually greeted with the same "hello's" " how ya been's" etc. etc. but one thing that I am noticing this year, among the sea of regulars, are the increased amount of new faces bobbing throughout the room... Its not that I have a problem with all the injections of new people, it truly doesn't bother me one way or the other because my placement in the family is firmly stapled.

buuuuuuuuuuut YES, I wanna bring a new face to the family, I wanna introduce my man, or whom ever I may be dating or just sleeping with, whatever the situation is... I wanna introduce a new face to the crowd too, without the side eye looks and separate room conversations filled with "who is that man with ...." Although, I know the deal and in this room full of past and current sinners, I would easily become the plague of society if I walked into the room with a man on my arm. These same folks; the alcoholics, druggies, liars, un-wed mothers and men that have frequently committed adultery, would be the same ones to grab their sanctified robes and cast me to the pits of hell for practicing homosexuality... Ironic huh! seems like No sin is greater than the sin of sexuality...

I've found it almost repulsive that for me, the holidays always give birth to this idea of coming out the closet... ( a term which I also hate becuz it insinuates that I've been locked away somewhere) Holidays and drama seem to go hand and hand and I'm now wondering which one is going to be my destined selection to say " see me, love me..." and announce to my kindred sinners ( and I know I might get in trouble for saying homosexuality is a sin, but if you read the word of God, you know it is...) "I too, am just like you.." A sin is a sin... homosexuality, alcoholism, pre-marital sex, lying, cheating, stealing... all of it is sin... and yours makes u no better than me...

I'm sharing this in hopes that someone else, has experienced this situation and maybe can shed some insight? If not, its cool, I know its my cross to bear and I carry it with honor in the hopes that one day my journey towards achieving something so simple, will stop being so hard...

Even Burned Bridges can be Rebuilt

There are often time moments in life, where the appearance of "growing up" becomes evident. There are identifiable times in a mans' life where he can truly diagnosis himself as becoming a better person. One of those moments happened to me today, and I'd like to give you an example of what happens when men learn to forgive and forget...

Today, I received a note simply saying "Hello..." what made me do a double take when I received it was the person that delivered the message... an estranged friend that according to him, had put our friendship to an end. We had been friends for many years when I lived in MD, we had been through a whole lot of "stuff" and had our share of moments, both good and bad. The last conversation we had was a discussion of why we really lost touch, the breakdown in our communication, why we were arguing and who's fault it truly was... he said some things, I said some things and we ended the "conver-argument-sation" with something to the effect of "I don’t need to hear from you anymore, I've grown up since then and its obvious you will never see my point... your not worth it.. etc etc." and my reply "that’s cool".. As strong as I was trying to be, it hurt bad on the inside, being party to the loss of what I considered a close person... but me and my tough-shelled attitude.. let it go because I didn’t want to deal with it at the time... "oh well, another one bites the dust... "

However, tonight this simple "Hello" was a door opening opportunity to repair what was broken... and I was hoping this was his intent as well as mine... So I responded..." How are you..." and he "Im doing well, I thought about you the other day..." " really, WOW..." and as the re-acquaintance began... another blessing began to shower on me... right before my eyes, a burned bridge was being rebuilt... and I knew God, in all his awesomeness, was still in charge... I've come to believe that in the midst of the ugliest of battles, sparks of beauty still reside.. it just take the nourishment of forgiveness, respect and maturity to make it flourish into something great... and I stand as a living witness, BURNED BRIDGES can be REBUILT....

Who Will Cry for the Little Boy?

"Who will cry for the little boy, lost and all alone?

Who will cry for the little boy, abandoned without his own.

Who will cry for the little boy? He cried himself to sleep.

Who will cry for the little boy? He never had for keeps.

Who will cry for the little boy? As He walked the burning sand.

Who will cry for the little boy? The boy, inside the man.

Who will cry for the little boy? Who knows well hurt and pain.

Who will cry for the little boy? He died... and died again.

Who will cry for the little boy? A good boy he tried to be.

Who will cry for the little boy, who cries inside of me?"

Author~ A. Fisher

What fragrances are the men wearing?

Today during my lunch hour I wanted to buy a new fragrance so I marched myself to the fragrance counter at the local dept store. I've always enjoyed smelling good, to the point of it being an addiction. As I browsed through the choices, I ran across some old favorites and a couple new possibilities. I ended up getting more than expected... but isnt that always the case.

Every cologne, regardless of how good it smells when its sprayed on one of those little scent cards, changes its true scent when applied to the skin. A persons natural body heat and scent effects how the combonation will come off from you. For me, clean, airy, fresh scents blend well with my chemistry and give off an intoxicating aroma that draws the wanted and sometimes unwanted comments like "what are you wearing", " that smells good"..." I love your cologne".

When applied to the right places, in the right amount giving a subtle hint of "smelling good" is always a winner. In the past Ive worn, Izzy, Happy, D&G, Armani, Unforgiveable, Calvin, so on and so forth... I have developed a few favorites. Check out these fragrances... the new Diesel smells great... Prada is awesome... Happy is a classic... so thats what I'll be wearing for a while.

What about you, What are you wearing???

S!MPLEE SATURDAY!!!!1

Bah Bah Black Sheep

If I were a black sheep, I would understand the reason I graze in a field alone... and I would already know why no one stays, family runs and love lingers not, if I were a black sheep....

If I were a black sheep I could comprehend the complexities in the coarseness of my wool, the uniqueness of my look, and why I am so distinctly different; not easily conformed, or braided into the mindless folds of the worlds' fabricated reality... for simply being... a black sheep... I'm rejected and ejected...

As a black sheep I’d be born into the awareness of being odd, fueld by struggled attempts to become mainstream and normal... They’d all just be my repeated strokes of failure... I’d be too concious of being a black sheep and too selfish to not...

"YESSIR, YESSIR, I’m 3 bag’s so very full..." one bag jam packed with charred heartaches, festering heartbreaks and scarred flesh... another bag overflowing with a lingering darkness in the corners of my eyes, expectations of hurt and lies floating like an oily film over the desires of my mind... and the last sullied sack, dirty with marks of being pulled through fluttering relationships, judgements and slanders... a black sheep...

I stand here in the openess of life, grazing in my field alone... It’s a picture perfect display called "the black sheep" the one un-pretty, the odd one, the one that just doesn’t fit in with the rest... that black sheep... motherless, abandoned, mis-used and distrusted... that ugly ass black sheep, un-wanted, nothingness and indifferent, angry and bitter... incapable of loving or giving worth... that black sheep... that gh’at damned black sheep...

It’s his pride of being.... that keeps him, the black sheep...

YES...

Will you do what is required of you?

It's Already Done...

Wow... I've been singing this song for some weeks now... seems like the lord has just sent me a praying spirit to fight some demons in my life... I guess its like the songs says... Wounds get in the Way, wounds from, mistrust, distrust, hurt, scars of the past that have life long wounds, its like a healing on the surface but without the touch of God. They seem to just boil and fester on the inside, it is those things that have been preventing me from receiving my blessings... So as I meditate on this song... I am learning to recognize the fact "that everything that is; will be " becuz in reality It's already done... my path has already been written, my life is already laid out and my destiny is set forth, Im just walking the pattern designed by God... (now staying along the lines and not stepping outside the boundaries is all up to me... )

Its almost a painful comedy how things have been presenting themselves to me in the most unusual ways, from friends to family... things just seem to manifest themselves right before my eyes... and all I can say is WOW... aint no changing folks... aint no use in pouting about tough situations... its just a test... folks and situations are just mountains to climb... praying to move the mountain doesnt make u stronger... but prayers for strength to make it over and through give you the power to stand firm against the next adversity... It's Already Done... yesterday I may have been down there but today I'm one step higher than yesterday.. It's Already Done... and Thank God for that...

I've decided that its ok to accept struggle.. its ok to embrace the storm.. its ok to still love folks who mean you no good because its not them its just circumstance and situation that creates the behavior, and ultimately, its ok to "go through some stuff'" ... because you cant appreciate being in the sun if you've never been through the rain... so I know there's a blessing for me , and I know he's working it out for me... I have faith he's working it out in me.. and working it out all around me... It's Already Done...

Going through life seemingly alone aint always easy... but when you learn, your truly never alone, is when your joy comes to life... and for me... It's Already Done... pray my strength and sanity!

You know Ur shady!

Shady, one word with so many meanings.. some use it to describe comfort and shelter... a form of relief from being in a warm situation.. and totally flipped in another direction th same word can be used as an adjective to describe behavior or situations, circumstances, people or places... Shady! hmmmm...

Whichever way you use it, you know it when you feel it.. you know when the temperature gets hot, the relief of a cool shady place is all you desire, and you know when your in place you have no business being and the patrons seem to be a little quirky, the behavior a bit out of the norm and the dealings going on.. well just seem shady... and lastly.. you damn sure know when someone is "giving you shade" behaviors toward you; not the norm, conversation is not the norm short, unfriendly or faked out smiles..

Shade... hmmm.. you know it when you feel it...

Where is all this coming from you may ask???

Let's say its just a little subtle note to say, I recognize your shade.. I recognize your ability to be all in my face one day then cold shouldered the next... How my number is memorized today and forgotten 2morrow, I recognize your sporatic attempts to gain my attention and your here and there droplettes of what you think may be enticing behavior... it's interesting... HA! your shade...interesting... you shady, and you know it and its ok... 'becuz what you've fail to realize is I have mastered the ability to be oblivious an go with the flow.. so just because I dont comment, doesnt mean I dont know... itcould be my overlooking your failure to fool someone who's already been there and done, just allowing you to continue to do what you do... whatever it is, just make this note ...

Shade recognizes shade... the more you give.. the cooler I get... so keep giving and I'll keep receiving...your shade.... because your shady... and you know it... HA!

Imperfectly Perfect

It was yesterday that I realized there is so much perfection in imperfection...

As I felt the stings of steaming hot water repeatedly beat against my face, and as it ran over the curves of my freshly shaven head and warmed the erection of my chest... I moved my hands throughout my body, and I began to understand that my design, as imperfect as it is, was made just for me...

Maybe it was the fragrance of the soaps, the intoxication of the moment.. or just the reality that ‘Baby, today this shower was feeling waaaaaay to good..." A smile slid smoothly across my face as I lower my head and allowed the heat of the water to cascade down the nape of my neck and find its own pathway down this mountain of me...

Dripping from head to toe, front to back, this full bodied, big boned, dark skinned man stepped out of the steaming hot shower and caught a glimpse of an imperfectly perfect creation... it was in that moment... I had another reason to love me...

I was so comfortable with the extra lump over here, The thickness, the fullness , the massive man that in the past seemed to get lost in a constantly defeating struggle to change what God had made... I grabbed that big of chunk that seemed to be glued back there and didn’t want to go away, I rubbed that roll that always shows itself at the wrong time, (especially when you want to wear a fitted shirt), I held on to my he-bobs and shook them for the mirror, "dammit bitch, they are mine, so fuck you if you don’t like them, someone will..." The thighs, oh the thighs... but "baby, they mine" and no anorexic, runway walking, starving themselves to death, non bread eating, Ben and Jerry’s avoiding, flat assed toothpick, can make me hate them ever again... . see all the things that society says "aint cute..." In this moment was looking all to fabulous.

As the towel traveled the curves, dried the corners, an and dived into all the secret spots... I saw beauty in blemishes, character in scars, dignity in dimples and joy in just simply loving me..

Imperfection is perfectly designed...So What!, If what I am, is not what you are... what I do is not what you do... your images of perfection are not my celebration any longer...

Dripping wet, towel dried, lotioned down, fully clothed or just butt ass naked...
I’ll be Imperfect for you ... yet always perfect...for me...

Informally, I'm going to grab this change to finally introduce myself to you... the name is S!MPLEE, and I think that will suffice for now,*grin*... I don't think I've ever taken to the opportunity on Tha B-SPOT to let you into my mindseye and why Tha B-SPOT even exists... In its watered down, less drama filled, nut-shelled reasoning, it can be summed into one sentence: " I needed an outlet to express, share and cultivate my creative desire..."

I've been using this medium to give to the world the things I am most interested in... from music, poetry, entertainment, celebs, news, models, men, women and photography, designs and creations amazingly captured in time via pictures.. I love art... When done successfully and effectively,I feel the beauty of expression through photography (especially people), is one of the biggest compliments you can render...

So I began my search to collect what I thought were stunning photos, and stunning subjects...*grin*.. Regardless of my personal preference I try to offer a wide array of delights so that everyone can take something from my posts. I give my respect and props to the hard working photographers that have taken the pictures I humbly post. Truly, they are talented and gifted beings...

Additional, as you browse through the tags, links and past posts displayed on Tha B-Spot, I've added a playlist to keep yours ears humming with some of my favorites music where I also tried to satify the thirst of the neo-soul, ghetto hopping, and sultry R&B patrons that may visit my page.

I am always open to comments, critique, suggestions and random thoughts to making Tha B-Spot better... feel free to contact me blk_feenyxx@yahoo.com and I will gladly respond to your words... until then,

Here's to enjoying Tha B-SPOT..may you continue to visit and be pleased with what you see as I am so pleased in sharing my mind with you...

Much love.. B

when you need some real words...

...

There are so many lines in this clip that people need to take to heart.. listen and learn..

"if people wanna walk out your life, let them go... and whatever they running after, they will see what they had in a minute and by then it will be too late to come back..."

"you gonna always mess up when you mix seasonal people with lifetime expectations..."

" some people are like leaves on a tree, the wind blows this way they over here,

it blows the other way they go there..."

"most people are like leaves, taking from the tree, they take life and give shade..."

"but if you find you two or three people like the roots of a tree, you are blessed..."

listen and learn baby.. LISTEN and LEARN...

Bring on the Rain- JoDee Messina

Bring On The Rain

Another day has almost come and gone
Can’t imagine what else could wrong
Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (‘cause)

Tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It's almost like the hard times circle ‘round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
and I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead

'cause tomorrow's another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain,

oooooooooo
No, I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight

'cause tomorrow's another day and I'm not afraid

So Bring on the rain...

S!MPLEE Revealed... the legend himself!

Yes folks, here it is... flaws and all, no "special touch" allowed... pimples, age lines, dark spots and freckles.. its all there baby... like it or leave it... I'll always and forever S!MPLEE be.. Me!

Dont Move My Mountain - Hasan

This song spoke so much volume to my life... Boy you better keep on singin... look for more clips from Hasan on YouTube, some of my favorites "Its your time" and " I dont know Why"...

Acidic Cry

I didn't think I still had anything left in me, because I had practiced so diligently at being stone... Void of emotions and feelings just a go hard, no nonsense type of brotha ... I really didn't care anymore and nothing seemed to matter.. U were gone, we were thru and it was done... so I shed a tear...

In the reality of this world we've created, men don't cry.. I mean, we walk through life as a blank canvas with no color or expression and nothing that moves the soul.. At least that's what I thought, its just simply what I was taught, you get hurt, you dust it off and you move on... Until you get the taste of that tear...

You knew that I knew... and in the midst of you not trying to hurt me, you ended up destroying me more, desecrating the concepts of friendship, loyalty and respect... What was that I really did again??? Over and over... cyclone funnels of drama, mess, lies, drama, mess ,lies.. Drama.. Mess.. Lies... Maybe it was all purposed, who knows? A directly calculated maneuver of repayment.. the result... just a single flesh burning tear...

I accepted my rage, I acknowledge my pain, but I loathed the contempt that was left floating like a cloudy film of oil over crystal clear water... I do take ownership for my mistakes... I mean, we've all got scars, from the shoulda, woulda, coulda's... But imagine acid slowing dripping into a wound you thought was healed, yea thats feeling.. It mimics me perfectly.... All I could do was watch the devastating crumble of me, when there were no tears..no pain.. It just endured... I, endured... until today...When I shockingly shed a tear...

See, its from the idea that through it all, we were supposed to be better.. You said you had my back,... you said you would be there.. You said.... You said.. Well you know what you said.... And ignorantly I believed you ... even after all of it.. I still believed you.. and That's why I cant loose this thing, that bore my tear... This.. this..this insane thing that I have to carry, when you knew all along what was really real... And you abused it.. You raped my state of mind..and left me emotionally naked and bleeding alone in this world... guess I deserved it huh.. I did make my heart readily available... but even when given the opportunity to do it the right way.. You did it this way.. Your way.. Always the low way... the only way.. Option never priority... and here I am left with a tear...
A symbolic remembrance of trying... struggling..accepting.. Overlooking..Pretending... and even loving... yea... ironic isn't it.. Still loving you... maybe it's the idea of it... wallowing in it, dancing in it.. Stepping boldly through it...

So, when gazing back at the strength of your own reflection.. I want you to vividly see the times when your eyes met mine... and see how much of you was in me and how I was in you... feel my embrace.. my breathe on your neck... Hear my laugh, remember your grin, taste our kiss and focus on that photo of us trapped in time... Because it's all those things I once had, that are nowcaptured by one tear... that's slowly searing its way down the curves of my face....

Im Rick James, Bitch!!!

Pimpin aint easy, with girls like this!

When My family get's together, its like Whoa!

Whitney reminder...

Thank you Whitney for the Reminder!!!